Frosty the Snowman - A Retelling

I suppose it all started with the snow. You see, it was a very special kind of snow. A snow that made the happy happier, and the giddy even giddier. A snow that’d make a homecoming homier, and natural enemies, friends, natural. For it was the first snow of the season. And as any child can tell you, there’s a certain magic that comes with the very first snow, especially when it falls on the day before Christmas.

The children placed the top hat on the head of the snowman.

No one expected anything to happen, least of all the magician Hinkle. But with a flourish, the snowman came alive and said happily, “Happy Birthday!”

Hinkle, done fighting with his obstinate rabbit, saw this miraculous occurrence and shouted, “Hey, you kids, that’s my hat!”

He approached the snowman and tried to grab the hat.

It’s difficult to judge what happens inside the mind of a sentient snowman. Perhaps Frosty saw his life flash before his eyes. Or perhaps he was overfilled with the Christmas spirit. Or perhaps the dark lord Baphomet, whose soul had been captured inside the hat by a wizard long ago, woke up from his ensorcelled sleep to find himself inside a crudely shaped, snow-based body with a group of defenseless children nearby.

The children watched in horror as Frosty placed his palms on the ground and began a ritualistic chant. An army of snow creatures rose from the ground and ripped the poor magician limb from limb. A spray of crimson covered the snow, bringing a festive hint of Christmas.

The snow army turned on the children and chased them down the street as Frosty sang:

Frosty the Snowman
Has a demon for a soul
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
He was imprisoned long ago
Frosty the Snowman
Made the children scream and pray
And were they surprised when
Before their eyes
A magician he did flay
There must have been some magic
In that old silk hat they found
For when they placed it on his head
He summoned monsters from the ground
Frosty the Snowman
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
You should run away
Or scream for eternity

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go
Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Dead bodies in the snow

 

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