Authors note – I haven’t posted a short story in a while. I’ve been writing though. I’m working on a novel. But I’ve decided to try to write some short stories or whatever in the meantime. This is clearly, slightly based on Qanon. It’s just a little thing that I wrote for fun, don’t expect anything out of it.
Brandon brushed his still mostly full bottle of “Brain Boner” supplements to the side and stared at the computer screen. The supplements hadn’t stiffened up his thoughts as promised, but they had stiffed him out of most of a paycheck. He would never admit that though.
His desk was junked up with vitamins and self-help books promising to teach him how to “own the libs” and how to “treat women like shit and become irresistible.”
He read the words on the screen again:
Fancy cakes and avocado dreams 11.01.12
It had to mean something. It always meant something. It never failed.
If you could figure out the right meaning, the words were never wrong.
The words appeared anonymously online. Of course, the writer couldn’t reveal themselves. They knew too much. If they revealed their true identity they might be arrested or they could become tabloid fodder.
Maybe the numbers were a date. Maybe it was coordinates of some kind. Maybe it was part of an IP address.
What were fancy cakes? Avocado dreams?
Brandon wasn’t sure. But he began brainstorming possibilities.
- Hostess is revealing a new guacamole twinkie
- Chipotle is secretly a part of a cabal that keeps terrorists fed
- FCAD – federal child abuse department. It didn’t seem to exist but maybe it was a secret organization founded on that day to stop the pedophiles.
He looked at news from that day in history.
November 1st, 2012 a fuel truck crashed in Saudi Arabia. What if it was to drive up fuel prices? Biodiesel can be produced from avocado oil. What if big avocado was trying to destroy the fossil fuel industry.
If avocado was used to produce fuel, avocado prices would go up thus increasing the price of avocado toast even more.
How were millennials going to afford housing?