Short Story: Superhero Man

Author’s note: Sometimes I write things from writing prompts that I find on the internet. This one is based on this writing prompt.

I didn’t plan to be a superhero, but all of that changed when I was bit by a radioactive man. I know, I know. It sounds strange. Shouldn’t it be an insect or something? But no. A radioactive man.

He was exposed to high levels of radiation. I was trying to get him to safety. And he bit me.

I don’t know if it was the stress or the radiation, but he took a hunk out of my shoulder. It left an awesome scar. In fact, I have a lot of awesome scars now. And a 12-pack. It’s like having 6-pack abs, but twice as good.

When you think about it, that’s me all over. Twice as good as any other man.

Who am I?

I am stoic and emotionless in the heat of battle. I am twice as strong as a regular man. I can and will explain things to you even if you already know about them. I am a superhero.

Most of my superpowers only work against women for some reason, but I suppose every hero has a weakness.

I have supersonic whistling powers that women will hear no matter how loud my construction equipment is. I can tell women to smile faster than a speeding bullet.

But not all of my powers are limited to women.

I can urinate on every toilet seat within a 5-mile radius at once. I can shoot Axe body spray out of my hands. I am the greatest superhero of all time even if you show me undeniable evidence that this isn’t true.

I am Man Man.

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